Rumor Has It

It’s time once again for that yearly event that gets the tech bloggers giddy and keeps the rumor mills churning out predictions: Apple, Inc., is about to release…something. That something is reportedly a new iPad. That’s about the only thing that is easily predicted, since Apple likes to stick to yearly product updates. So below, is my prediction on what will or won’t be in the new iPad. But, since my predictions are usually wrong (just like most of the rumors floating out on the Interwebs), I present you a summary of the latest rumors I’ve seen, in Mad Libs form. I figure if enough of us fill this out, one of us has to be right. It will be like monkeys typing Shakespeare.

Recent reports point to Apple releasing the iPad 3 on DATE. That is the name most NOUN have chosen for the new tablet, but it could just as easily be called the PROPER NAME or PROPER NAME. One thing is clear, the new iPad will be ADVERB more ADJECTIVE than previous versions. It will retail for NUMBER and have capacities up to NUMBER gigabytes. Apple will also introduce a ADJECTIVE version and a NOUN, which has long been seen as the next ADJECTIVE step in Apple’s plan for ADJECTIVE NOUN.

The camera in the iPad 2 camera has received poor PLURAL NOUN for its low resolution, so Apple will probably VERB the new iPad’s camera to NUMBER megapixels, and video resolution VERB to NUMBER. It will also include the ability to VERB while GERUND its NOUN. The iPad’s NOUN will be ADVERB ADJECTIVE, while its NOUN will allow you to VERB it longer.

On the connectivity front, the iPad 3 will include NOUN, and might include NOUN. It will mean Apple has solved the NOUN of NOUN. If NOUN is missing from the iPad, it will be ADVERB VERB or VERB by tech pundits, depending on which NOUN you read. It will be sold by PROPER NAME, PROPER NAME, and PROPER NAME. Apple will also release iOS version NUMBER, which finally adds NOUN integration and NOUN. PROPER NOUN users will VERB these additions, saying their ADJECTIVE NOUN has had NOUN for time.

The iPad’s NOUN will have significantly more PLURAL NOUN, rivaling the NOUN of previous versions. The NOUN screen will be virtually ADJECTIVE, thanks to the addition of NOUN and NOUN. Internally, the iPad will run ADVERB thanks to a new NUMBER NOUN, designed by PROPER NAME in COUNTRY. This will enable users to VERB NOUN SIMILE.

All in all, the iPad 3 will be a ADVERB ADJECTIVE device. Of course, all of these rumors are subject to VERB, because no one really VERB any NOUN about just what Apple is going to VERB.

And now, the required blog title music video reference. If you’re not a Glee fan, I’m sorry. I really need to get out more.

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Hysteria

It’s another day at the hospital, this time for one of the last surgeries for Shannon. Since we can no longer have children (doctors orders), she has gone in for a hysterectomy and oophorectomy. Her chemotherapy already put her into menopause, and both her OB and her oncologist believe this is an appropriate course of for both her long-term health and her cancer treatment. She has to be on anti-estrogen medication for the next 5 years, and having the surgery will increase her options greatly. And, as Shannon has said in recent months “It’s not like I need those parts anymore.”

The etymology of words has always fascinated me. “Hysterectomy” comes from the Greek hystera meaning “womb.” It’s where we get the term “hysteria,” a catch-all medical diagnosis popularized in the 19th Century to describe any number of “female disorders.” It is no longer an official medical term used by physicians, but it did give us one of the greatest lines in movie history and a pretty kick-ass British rock anthem.

Today’s hospital visit brings our total trips to Medcenter One to more than 50 in the last year and a half. Five more trips and we get a surgical wing named after us. Or a free Slurpee. I haven’t read the fine print yet. That would be sweet.

As I sit in the waiting room, Shannon is in “holding” and we’re waiting for her surgery to start. It’s a relatively simple procedure, and should take about an hour once they start. Medcenter recently started offering robotic-assisted laproscopic surgery, so it will cut Shannon’s hospital stay to just overnight, and her recovery at home to a few weeks. I’ll be posting updates to Facebook and Twitter throughout the day. If anyone wants to come keep me company, feel free to stop on down.

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Tell me why

I’m going to take a small step back from tech blogging and enter cancer blogging mode again to tell you about the amazing people in the blogging and social media community I discovered after Shannon’s diagnosis. It has been a long hard recovery for both of us, but nothing compares to the stories of the many brave women and their families I have discovered in the last year and a half. Here is one of them.

Susan Niebur, aka Toddler Planet aka WhyMommy, is an amazing woman. She has gone through and is still going through so much as she battles metastatic breast cancer that it puts my wife’s advanced, yet still treatable, cancer in perspective. Susan may not have much more time on this planet left, but I would be remiss if I didn’t pause to say thank you. Thank you for being a source of comfort, humor, and even hope during our time of need. You made us realize that life is what you make it, no matter what crap gets thrown at you. Live your life. Love those around you. And never lose your sense of humor.

Susan, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Keep fighting and know that your blogging family is behind you 100%.

– A conversation with my husband, shortly after arriving home this afternoon with fresh oxygen tanks, spots on my liver, fluid pushing around my lungs (likely filled with cancer, as are the tumors inside) and at least one broken vertebra that must be healed before we resume any kind of treatment. –

How did we get here? I asked my love, across the bed strewn with children’s toys, books, and an oxygen tank.

Read More via How did we get here?.

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